Jocelyn
Hamsher
Hi everybody! My name is Jocelyn Hamsher and I serve as a mentor and coach at Toward the Goal Ministries, Inc. One of my passions is relationship-- walking alongside others, learning and growing together, and discovering more about intimacy with God. If there is one thing I have learned in my life, it's that God never lets anything go to waste. He is faithful to redeem and can bring the absolutely beautiful out of the ugly. In fact, often times our ministry comes from our mess and our passion from our pain. To sit across from someone who is now where you have been and encourage them with hope and what God has taught you, that's redemption. Even though we aren't sitting across the table from each other, I pray this can encourage you in some way.
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I grew up in an environment where there was a lot of brokenness and instability--mental illness, deceit, infidelity, abuse, manipulation, guilt and divorce just to name a few. Walking through those years was hellish--I won't lie. So, by all appearances, I was doing just fine. I did well academically, was active in extra-curriculars, and had quite a few friends. But within, I was fearful, insecure, and really angry.
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We were created with a normal longing for love and security and I was looking for it. I had accepted Jesus as my Savior at age eleven, but I wasn't aware or anchored in who God said I was as His daughter. I hadn't discovered yet the incredible value that I possessed because I was His and I didn't seek out people who would encourage me with this life-giving perspective. I made a lot of foolish choices in efforts to satisfy my desire for approval, to feel "good enough" and ran to all the wrong places--guys, sex, the party scene, performance, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. But all those things did was leave me even more empty, tired, and carrying more emotional baggage. My identity was based on things that weren't consistent, that varied depending on the day. Things like my performance on the court or in the classroom, my high and often unrealistic expectations, or people's responses to me, and therefore my sense of self
.worth fluctuated constantly
Several years later, God used my best friend and his pastor who preached messages
from the word that began to reveal who God was in the most real way I had ever
heard. The messages drew me in and I truly felt "wooed' by God to return to relationship with Him. Growing up, I saw God as someone who would crack the whip when I messed up, who was distant and hard to please. But as I heard more about who God really was -- His heart, His character, His love, grace and truth- my hunger for Him grew
Over the next several years, God continued to do his heart work in me, including two
foundational things: recommitting my life to Christ asking the Holy spirit to come into my life, and reading a life-changing book filled with the truth of the Gospel describing my true identity found in Chirst. For the first time in my life, I discovered how God truly saw me because of what Jesus did for me on the cross, and the new life He had given me through His resurrection. Discovering my identity was powerful because it pointed back to who He is--His goodness, His generosity, His sacrificial and incredible love, His power and His grace. He has given me an identity that was now anchored in Christ, an identity that wouldn't change because He doesn't (Hebrews 13:8). It wasn't dependent on myself or others, on the day or situation. It didn't depend on how well I excelled at what I did and wasn't defined by my failure either. It didn't depend on people liking me or not liking me. I realized I didn't have to sacrifice my dignity or self-respect anymore with guys to attempt to feel loved or wanted. Because for the first time I realized I was worth more. I saw that God valued me more than I valued myself. I learned I would never be good enough apart from Christ, but because He lives in me and He completes me (Colossians 2:10), I didn't have to prove anything. He already did on the cross. He's good enough. His perfection covered my imperfection! I discovered that He created me and designed me in a way that reflects Him (Genesis 1:27), so maybe it was possible to like some things about myself. :) Perhaps I needed to look a little deeper and discover the strengths and gifting He had planted in me. I learned that coming from a broken home and experiencing a lot of pain with my parents that God is the perfect Parent and would never leave or abandon me. But would receive me and hold me close (Psalm 27:10). Especially freeing was when I began to believe the truth that not only did He love me, He liked me; He delighted in me and took pleasure in me (Psalm 149:4).
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Ladies no matter how old we are, there will always be things that try to distract and discourage us from believing how good God's heart is and who we are in Him. This faith adventure with God can be exhilarating, seemingly mundane at times and no doubt difficult. But please choose it. Choose Him. He is the adventure of a lifetime and you will experience things you could never dream of apart from Christ. And in the hard, stand on His promises, ask for His power, reach out to His people and trust your faithful Parent that won't let go.
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Cheering you on,
Jocelyn